Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Random Thoughts

As a rule, I don't blog about my job or my relationships with others on any in depth level and with the exception of one blog, I typically never mention names. I believe those matters are personal and putting stuff like that out here on the web is just planting a recipe for disaster that will one day sneak up on you, like Ebola, and decimate your life all because you felt the need to vent your frustrations in a public forum. Too many people are doing that these days but they have no idea how immature, foolish and self-indulgent it actually makes them look.

The point to this is that I choose my words very carefully in my blogs because people I have relationships with and work with can read my blogs, and might stagger across a rant and misinterpret a haphazard venting of aggravation as discontent with our relationship, work or hostility toward a co-worker. Therefore, I choose not to air that kind of information. Call it self-preservation, call it covering your tail or call it spineless but I prefer to think of it as common sense.

Having said that, I wanted to blog about some things I have learned, which include my relationships and job.

Everyone makes mistakes. That is a given. People make honest mistakes and careless mistakes. The absolute worst kind of mistake, however, is when you firmly believe you are doing what is expected of you and you're wrong. It's one thing to be frustrated when you find a typographical error in an email after it has already been sent because you chose to not use spell check. It's another thing to complete a project according to the instructions you were given, only to learn that you didn't do what was expected and must completely start over again. At that point, you have people who are unhappy with you, thinking that you were careless or willfully disobeyed instructions. At the same time, the person who made the mistake questions his own intelligence, thinking that he should have known better. I've lost it at work a few times and belittled someone in front of other co-workers because of their mistakes but I have since come to realize that not only are the mistakes inevitable they will most likely happen again in the future. It's a vicious cycle.



Asking for help or forgiveness is difficult, but dealing with the consequences of your silence is worse. Is suffering in silence really more satisfying than speaking out and dealing with the consequences? When you choose silence, there's a voice inside your head that judges you and no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to shut it up. It will drive you mad. You will continually tell yourself you are powerless and weak while you make yourself believe and live with the cooperation of maintaining secrecy. (Never tell. If questioned, deny it. If caught, say as little as possible.) Trust me, I've been there. You don't just wake up one day and decide to pour out your soul and confess. It's a very gradual process that happens over months and possibly years but true healing for all parties involved can and will only come once the silence is broken.



Very few people can broadcast an achievement without sounding arrogant. Not sure that I need to explain this one but this is where silence may not a bad thing. LOL

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