Defining Moments

The astonishing human spirit can conquer virtually anything if we CHOOSE to make a difference.   Ordinary people can do amazing things even through adversity if we CHOOSE to make a difference.  The following is a true story, and it defines all of us, from the weak to the strong, the poor to the wealthy.  Lessons can be learned through the smallest trials to the largest trials.

In November 1995, Itzhak Perlman, a violinist, went on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City.  If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him.  He was stricken with polio as a child, so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches.  To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight.

 

He walked painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair.  Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward.  Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.

 

By that time, the audience is used to this ritual.  They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair.  They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs.  They wait until he is ready to play.

But this time, something went wrong.  Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke.  You could hear it snap.  It went off like gunfire across the room.  There was no mistaking what that sound meant.  There was no mistaking what he had to do.

We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage to either find another violin or else find another string for this one.  But he didn't.  Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again.

The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off.  And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before.  Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings.  I know that and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that.

He was modulating, changing and re-composing the piece in his head.  At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.

When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room.  Then people rose and cheered.  There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium.  They were all on our feet, screaming and cheering; doing everything they could to show how much they appreciated what he had done.

He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet everyone and then he said (not boastfully) in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone "You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."

What a powerful statement that was.   Perhaps that is the definition of life - not just for artists but for all of us.  Here is a man who has prepared all his life to make music on a violin of four strings when all of a sudden, in the middle of a concert, finds himself with only three strings; so he makes music with three strings, and the music he made that night with just three strings was more beautiful, more sacred, more memorable, than any that he had ever made before, when he had four strings.

Perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live is to make music, at first with all that we have and when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left.

ABC's of Happiness

A -- Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B -- Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C -- Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D -- Decide

Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E -- Explore
Explore and experiment.  The world has much to offer, and you have much to give.  Every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F -- Forgive
Forgive and forget.  Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief.  Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G -- Grow
Grow by leaving the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H -- Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I -- Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head.  Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments.  Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J -- Journey
Journey to new worlds and new possibilities by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K -- Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L -- Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate.  When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M -- Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry.  Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N -- Notice
Take notice and never ignore the poor, sick, helpless, weak, or suffering.  Offer your assistance, kindness and understanding whenever possible.

O -- Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you.  Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P -- Play
Never forget to play and have fun along the way.  Success means nothing without happiness.

Q -- Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R -- Relax
Relax a bit.  Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S -- Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others.  Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T -- Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U -- Use
Use your gifts to your best ability.  Talent that's wasted has no value.  Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V -- Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W -- Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals.  Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X -- X-Ray
Make use of the concept of an x-ray.  Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y -- Yield

Yield to commitment.  If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z -- Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head.  Let nothing interfere with your goals.  Instead, focus on your abilities, dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

Bad Blogs Have Got To Go

There are a lot of blogs out there that won't entice anyone to go back regularly to read updates.  Not to be judgmental but doesn't everyone know about sentence structure, grammar, paragraphing or using a thesaurus?

Can't we all just view blogging from a child's perspective?  Children don't complicate life with miscellaneous information, and when they speak they tell you straight to the point exactly how they feel and think about a subject.

 
Blogs should help people connect by sharing knowledge and feelings about issues in life.  They are just journals written by people who hope that they will be readable and open to comments by other people.   Personally, I want to read things from real people not just one-sided, highly opinionated arguments from egos that don't want to see the 'other side of the coin.'

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee

A young woman began to tell her mother about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting.  It seems when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water and put them on the stove – they began to boil.  In the first pot, she placed carrots; the second she placed eggs; the last one she placed ground coffee beans.  She let them all boil, without saying a word.  In about 20 minutes, she turned off all the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She did the same with the eggs.  Then she ladled the coffee out into a cup.  Turning to her daughter, she said, “Tell me what you see.”  “Carrots, eggs and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother asked her to feel the carrots – they were soft.  The mother asked the daughter to break an egg.  After peeling off the shell, she observed the egg was hard-boiled.  Finally the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter tasted its rich aroma.  “What does this mean mother?” she asked.

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity; boiling water.  Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting.  After being subjected to the heat, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile, but after sitting through the boiling water, it’s inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.  “Which are you?”  she asked her daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

So which are you?  Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do you wilt and become soft and lose strength?

Or are you the egg that starts with a soft heart but changes with the heat?  Did you have a fluid spirit but after a death, breakup, hardship or some other trial, have you become hardened and stiff?  Does your shell look the same but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a hardened heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself at another level?  How do you handle adversity? 

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?  I hope we will all be coffee!!!!

First Impressions

It’s no secret that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Success comes to those with integrity, those who are resourceful, and those who make a fabulous first impression!  Why???  Because first impressions count!  

Think about it for a minute.  Packaging is important, whether we're considering buying a house, a product or starting a new relationship. We think what looks attractive or reliable from the outside must definitely be on the inside. We judge books by their covers; we buy houses based upon curb appeal and we take people at face value. And they do the same to us!

I certainly agree that none of that seems fair.  People should be judged by their inner values and beliefs, but more often than not it’s the first impression that determines whether someone will stick around long enough for us to reveal those qualities.  Like it or not, it’s that first impression that determines our future.  People often judge whether or not they will like you as a friend, employee or co-worker.

A first impression happens quickly and this can be crucial if you happen to bump into the man or woman of your dreams. But how do you prepare for that moment? Unless you’re arranging your dates online or you’re being set up on a blind date, you don’t!

When we step into a room, people make subconscious decisions about us. Within the first thirty seconds, they've judged our educational levels, our social status and our levels of sophistication and success.  AND they're basing those decisions purely upon what they see (i.e. our wardrobe, hairstyle, smile and posture).  Within the first couple minutes (after we’ve had the opportunity to speak), they've made decisions about our honesty, kindness, dependability, intellect, humbleness and self-confidence.  

Impressions are based on gut feeling and emotion, not on rational thought or careful analysis.  We all have assumptions about almost every human trait imaginable: tall or short, heavy or thin, articulate or not, clean or dirty, well mannered or rude, organized or disorganized.  You name it, we assume it and whether we want to admit it or not, we all believe that one trait is preferable to the other.

We Become What We Think About

 

A critical secret to success is that what we think about on a regular basis, good or bad, we attract into our life. Our minds are a powerful magnet that will attract whatever we are focusing on, positive or negative. Our thoughts generate our feelings and our feelings generate our actions. In turn, our actions generate our results. Everything starts with our thoughts. If you want to attract better personal and professional results, you have to adopt better thoughts.

Most people don't realize that their habitual thoughts are powerful things that ultimately become real and tangible. Since our dominant thoughts become our reality, we should choose our thoughts and internal dialogue very carefully. We need to be aware of our recurring thought patterns and turn them into positive affirmations.

Instead of constantly thinking about debt, start thinking about financial freedom. Don't stress about being overweight, focus on being healthy. Don't dwell on disliking your job, dream about owning a business and creating wealth.

Right thoughts create right actions and sooner or later, they also create the right outcomes.

Insignificant, Unsubstantiated Chitchat

I have no respect for justice.  I main without killing.  I break hearts and ruin lives.  I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.  The more I am quoted the more I am believed.  I flourish at every level of society.  My victims are helpless; they cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.  To track me down is impossible.  The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

I am nobody's friend.  Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.  I topple governments and ruin marriages.  I end ministries setup by God.  I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion.  I spawn suspicion and generategrief.  I make headlines, headaches and heartaches.  I make innocent people cry in their pillows.  Even my name hisses.

Otherwise known as ................Gossip

Exchanging information about absent third parties doesn't seem like it could ever be significantly constructive.  No matter how pure or innocent our motives may be, raising questions or doubts about someone or their character still damages their reputation, whether deliberate or accidental.