Confession Time

All the programs out there say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  Basically, admitting you cannot control your addiction or compulsion.  So, here it goes…..

Hi.  My name is Tina and I’m a Starbucks addict.

Do we have a coffee pot at work?  Sure do.  We actually have a coffee pot and a Keurig and it is all FREE.  I also have both a coffee pot and Keurig at home!

However, if I had my choice between a cup of coffee, a k-cup or a Starbucks Venti Non-fat Dirty Chai Latte, I would choose the Chai every time. Not just any Chai, but a venti non-fat dirty Chai (dirty meaning it has 3 shots of espresso) and this girl is happy. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy coffee too, but the Chai is my drug…..I mean drink of choice.

I haven’t always been like this.  There was a time when I would roll my eyes and shake my head at someone who would wait patiently in a long drive-thru line multiple times a day to order drinks with names like Grande No Whip Cinnamon Dolce Crème Frappuccino!  I couldn't even say it let alone want to drink it! LOL

But I have become one of those peeps and the numbers don’t lie folks.  Before I continue, I want to make it clear that I take full responsibility for my problem.  Nobody is forcing me to shell out the kind of money I have on Starbucks and after doing the math of how much I actually spent in 2012, I have definitely quit cold turkey.  I am 11 days clean so far.

In 2012, I spent (with my debit card) $1,887.28 on Starbucks.  The number is more than likely a little higher than that but I don’t track cash purchases so we can probably round that up to an even $2,000.  However, I "drank" a whole lot more than $2,000 worth because my children would also contribute to my addiction but not nearly as much as I did.

How did I spend that much on Chai?  Easy, it started out as being convenient and it tasted good and then was a routine until it turned into me needing it to function.  If I was running late for work, it didn't matter because I was still getting in that long drive-thru line to get my fix.

Anyway, my Starbucks spending spree has come to an end and now it is time to focus on controlling this addiction and spending that money elsewhere in 2013.....but definitely not on another addiction.  An extra $2000 a year towards my mortgage will go a long way in helping to pay this house off.

Carrots, Eggs or Coffee

A young woman began to tell her mother about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting.  It seems when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water and put them on the stove – they began to boil.  In the first pot, she placed carrots; the second she placed eggs; the last one she placed ground coffee beans.  She let them all boil, without saying a word.  In about 20 minutes, she turned off all the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She did the same with the eggs.  Then she ladled the coffee out into a cup.  Turning to her daughter, she said, “Tell me what you see.”  “Carrots, eggs and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother asked her to feel the carrots – they were soft.  The mother asked the daughter to break an egg.  After peeling off the shell, she observed the egg was hard-boiled.  Finally the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter tasted its rich aroma.  “What does this mean mother?” she asked.

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity; boiling water.  Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting.  After being subjected to the heat, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile, but after sitting through the boiling water, it’s inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.  “Which are you?”  she asked her daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

So which are you?  Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do you wilt and become soft and lose strength?

Or are you the egg that starts with a soft heart but changes with the heat?  Did you have a fluid spirit but after a death, breakup, hardship or some other trial, have you become hardened and stiff?  Does your shell look the same but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a hardened heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself at another level?  How do you handle adversity? 

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?  I hope we will all be coffee!!!!